By Verl Workman
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: sellers aren’t spreadsheets. They’re people.
When a seller brings their home to the market, they’re not just bringing four walls and a roof. They’re bringing memories, expectations, pride, fear, and a whole lot of hope. And when that home doesn’t sell as quickly as they thought it would, something happens. They don’t flip into strategy mode. They default to emotion.
If you’ve ever felt like a seller is being “difficult,” let me offer you a reframe: they’re not being difficult. They’re being human.
The Emotional Fog
When a listing lingers, sellers often step into what I call an emotional fog. Suddenly, their ability to see the market clearly, evaluate feedback, or make smart adjustments gets clouded.
- They might sound frustrated (“Why isn’t anyone making an offer?”).
- They might feel embarrassed (“Everyone saw the ‘Just Listed’ post… now it’s just sitting.”).
- They might even get defensive (“Our house is great—those buyers just don’t get it.”).
What they’re really doing is protecting themselves. That fog is fear, frustration, loss, or pride showing up in disguise.
Why Data Alone Doesn’t Land
Now here’s where I’ve found most agents miss it: we think if we just show them the data, they’ll see the light. “Look at the comps. Look at the days on market. Look at the showings.”
But sellers don’t hear data as proof. They hear it as rejection; rejection of their taste, rejection of their judgment. Sometimes even rejection of the life they built inside that home.
Until you acknowledge the emotion behind the numbers, no amount of logic will move them.
The Inner Dialogue You’ll Never Hear
“Inside, sellers are having conversations they’ll never say out loud:
- “If we drop the price, it means we failed.”
- “If we just wait, someone will fall in love with it.”
- “Maybe it’s our agent’s fault—we need more marketing.”
Those thoughts aren’t rooted in facts. They’re rooted in fear. If you treat them like objections to overcome instead of emotions to understand, you’ll find yourself arguing instead of leading.
Your Role: Mirror, Interpreter, and Guide
This is where your real value as an agent shows up. I sincerely believe it’s not in CMA charts. Not in your “Just Listed” postcards; but in your ability to cut through that fog with empathy, clarity, and courage.
Here’s how:
- Reframe signals as gifts. “This isn’t rejection—it’s feedback we can use to make our next best move.”
- Normalize the conflict. “Most sellers feel this way—you’re not alone.”
- Mirror with empathy. “Can I share what I’ve seen other sellers wrestle with at this point?”
- Ask for truth permission. “If I see something that’s hurting your chances of selling, do I have your permission to bring it to you?”
- Separate identity from strategy. Remind them: Repositioning isn’t failure. It’s adaptation.
Final Thought
At the end of the day, seller psychology is the invisible force shaping every listing decision. When you learn to see it, speak to it, and guide through it, you stop clashing with your clients and start aligning with them.
And when you align? That’s when confidence shows up on both sides of the table.
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